Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
