Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We named our party play list daddy issues
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
