She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
