Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
