States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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