I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
