Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
