DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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