I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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