i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
