there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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