My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
