dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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