I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
