you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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