i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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