My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
