he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
