please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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