he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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