I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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