I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
