dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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