So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
