Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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