This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
