please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
