why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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