i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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