Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
