I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
