She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
