Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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