Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
