i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
