i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
