He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
