I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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