??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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