That's intense
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
