can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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