I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
