This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
ttyl tear gas
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
