Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
