I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
