Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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