My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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