i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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