That's intense
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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