Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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