with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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