I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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