The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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