Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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