If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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